If children are taught that playing with themselves is just that, play, and is very normal and healthy, they will experiment with sexual ecstasy when they reach adolescence without guilt, and be able to talk about it with family memberswhich further naturalizes and balances their energies. I believe that if our societies were really healthy that parents could choose to take their sexually awakening child to sacred sexual temples where highly skilled guides would teach them how to connect their sexual energies to their hearts and spirit and how to thus ride sexual energy into higher states of integration and awareness, even into God. (See Story) What a beautiful thing for young people, and what a beautiful outlet for people who feel called to be sacred sexual workers. And in this context of the sacred beauty of the body and sex true morality would make perfect sense, meaning respect for other human souls, respect for the mystery and beauty of each being, never trying to manipulate and selfishly use others.
NORMAL SEXUAL EXPLORATION
But what about the sexual exploration of young people? Isn't it wrong? If sex was normalized and reconnected to the deepest, most innocent part of ourselves through sexual initiation, sexual exploration between young people would not be made into a negative thing. Don’t we know it is inevitable? Young people have massive amounts of sexual energy flowing through their bodies. What do we expect? Nature designed them just this way. So let’s teach them the caution and respect that should always guide them: in other words, wisdom. If they clearly realize that pregnancy is always a possibility and they need to take that very, very seriously as it is a dramatic life-altering event, and they were given many other ways to enjoy each other short of full union, perhaps they would explore sex in a much healthier way.
We have very rigid and limited patterns for social development inherited from Bronze and Iron Age tribal societies based on family alliances and prideful honor structures. People are sexually attracted to each otherthis is a fact. Are either platonic friendships or marriage the only two possibilities? We now know from lots of experience that relationships are not so black and white. Many times we are drawn together to become conscious of destructive patterns in our psyche, or to develop and celebrate positive potentials, or out of purely sexual chemistry… but we discover after a while there is not the entire package that would make us want to commit ourselves to each other for life. So, lets honor the soul by allowing for more diverse patterns of relationship based on mutual learning and soul enrichment so we can grow up in true wisdom based on life experience, and real Love. Let’s expand.
Single people may come together for short periods of intense interaction and energy exchanges until something balances in each person. Then they may part. This may include sexual intimacy, which is one of the strongest forms of energetic exchange. So, what about the bonding that takes place? Some people teach that this is diminishes our lives because the more people you have bonded with the less you are capable of bonding with one person for life. What if this just isn’t true? What if the breadth of healthy exploration and experience, (entered and let go of in mutual love and respect), creates a soul richness? What if we accepted the other people in our partner’s past experience not as threats to us in a possessive and jealous way, but as adding to the soul depth and breadth of the person we love?
LOSS AND GRIEF
But if we allow ourselves to get so close to someone and it doesn't work out, what about the grief? It can really, really hurt to lose a loving relationship. Shouldn't we protect ourselves and those we love from such painful experiences? I know there is a deep instinct to protect our children from life's painful losses and disappointments, but this is not possible. Loss is one of the two great realities of our mortal lives: the other is Love. We cannot protect our children from the very lessons we came into this world to learn. All we love we will eventually lose, so to become matured by the experiences of Love opening us, selfishness wounding us, and the inevitabilities of disappointment and loss is the very process we must embracenot try to hide from.
NEW MATURE PATTERNS
I realize this perspective on sex and relationships can bring up many fears as well as sincere concerns and questions and this is good. Let’s open up and explore these things. Let's ask tough questions without fear. The patterns we have been living have created tragic and unnecessary adolescent alienation, huge shadows of morbid guilt, uncontrolled lust, degrading attitudes towards all sex workers, and a pornographic industry that debases and hardens sensitive, beautiful souls. I can say this will total assurance we need to seriously question everything now, and by God's grace find new, mature and sane patterns for the future that bring true health and wholeness to mankind.